Everything Will Be Alright
by Red Ink Madame
Summary: She wants happiness just as much as she needs the air that she breathes and god knows that he would make her happy. But she's scared. She doesn't want to be given the chance, only to screw it up. Because, somehow life has always has a funny way of screwing with the things that somehow matter the most.


_The title comes from a song I can no longer remember and yet it was the inspiration for this story. It's been a while since I've had these two in my head or any apparent muses and I know that as far as these two are concerned, I have many unfinished stories that are yet to be told. In the following weeks, I will be updating these stories. But for now I give you this stand alone, which is set after the events of threads._

* * *

For the first time in her life, she's not certain about much anymore. Her father is gone. She is no longer engaged. She's in love with the man that regs and rules say has always been off limits.

She takes a breath, breathing in the cool night's air. After Jacob's death, Jack had rounded up the troops and they had all headed to his cabin. Sam had been reluctant, but eventually gave in. Unable to resist his boyish grin as he bounded into her lab, almost ordering her to take some much needed r & r and honestly she hadn't found much of a reason to object. Her lab seemed suffocating and she didn't exactly have much of a family, if any, to go home to or spend time with.

Mark and her barely spoke and now there was nothing tying them together. Her father was gone and Mark would want nothing to do with her. The funeral had been nothing short of awkward and somehow she knew that he blamed her.

"Carter." He says softly and she almost jumps.

"You scared me." She admits as he moves to sit next to her.

"What'cha doing out here on your own?" He asks as he stares into the blackening darkness in front of him. He already knows the answer. Like he had, when he'd found her sitting on the edge of the dock, looking more lost than he'd ever seen her.

"Thinking." She says as she gazes almost aimlessly into the distance. She's spent so much time sitting in this exact place over the last few days and part of her wonders why she turned him down all those years before. Though she knows the answer and it's the same one that they left in that room. When admissions of feelings had lead to an understanding. It would be easier that way or so she thought.

But nothing was easy, not when it came to them. It never had been. They had always been the very definition of complicated and the regs had just served to be the elephant in the room. Too important to ignore and yet too hard to break. But now she was at a crossroads. The very institution that been the basis for who she was, seemed at odds with the life she now wanted. Pete, if anything, had been an attempt to live a life she would never quite simply have. But then, it wasn't the life she had wanted. She wasn't "normal". She hardly knows what normal is. But she knows she isn't it.

"Carter." His voice pulls her back into the moment and she almost blushes, but this isn't a moment of her being consumed with how best to work a naquada generator or to reroute the gate's power supply. These thoughts aren't so easy to voice.

"I am sorry sir." She utters as her voice wavers slightly and her father's words are left to ring in her ears. His words seem almost selfish and yet they are anything but. It seems almost ironic that the one thing that will truly make her happy, will cost her so much and she's not sure if she can truly bare to pay the price.

Her vision blurs slightly and it's only then that she notices the salty tang of the tears that roll down her cheeks. She reaches up to wipe them away. She doesn't want to cry. She's not some damsel in a really bad romantic comedy.

"C'mere" He says softly, yet firmly and she can't help comply as she buries her head against his chest and he wraps an arm around her. She wants happiness just as much as she needs the air that she breathes and god knows that he would make her happy. But she's scared. She doesn't want to be given the chance, only to screw it up. Because, somehow life has always has a funny way of screwing with the things that somehow matter the most.

She doesn't cling to him as she feels the gentleness of his calloused hands run soothing circles against her back. She doesn't choke back a sob as she feels his lips press softly against the crown of her head. Instead she grieves silently as the tears continue to roll down her face.

She's not sure how long they stay like that, but when the tears subside. The stains of which are sticky against her skin. She pulls away. Not meeting his gaze. She's honestly more than a little embarrassed, which she knows is ridiculous, given that he knows her better than anyone else. Lord knows he's seen her in every imaginable, and well, unimaginable situation possible. He's see her at her best and one too many times at her worst.

But somehow this feels different. She's feels raw. Exposed. Vulnerable. Those aren't emotions that she can easily deal with and not to mention that she ended up in the arms of the man that's still technically her CO. She almost laughs at the absurdity of the whole situation. Her life really is like one of those romantic screwball comedies.

"Hey." He says softly, drawing her back into the moment. She ducks her head as his fingers snake under her chin. Forcing her to look at him. She almost gasps at the intensity she sees in the look he gives her. But he's never done anything by halves and she knows that includes her.

She can't help but think how fucked up it is, that despite everything they've done in the name of service and duty. They'd be tossed to the curb if they even thought about crossing that line.

But the line isn't so clear anymore and the boundaries are starting to blur. She doesn't seem to care so much anymore. Sure, she loves her job and the airforce is in her blood. But somehow this is one of those things they never mention when you sign up or when you work your ass off, whilst in the academy to prove just how worthy you are. Worthy. She almost scoffs. She's more than that. She clocked enough hours serving her country whilst, stationed in the gulf and she's done it more times over, whilst travelling to more planets than she cares to remember or name.

She leans into his hand as the pads of his thumbs wipe away the stains of tears no longer there and her eyes fall shut. If this was a romantic comedy, there would be a kiss and then the credits would roll. But she's long since given up on any kind of romance. Pete was probably the straw that broke the camel's back.

He strokes her cheek and she feels his head resting against hers. She wants this. But she can't give up the very thing she's spent most of her adult life working towards. She's given up so much already.

"Stop thinking." He whispers softly and she does. She can't think seem about much else when his lips brush against hers.

"Jack please." She mumbles and she pulls away slightly. Her eyes still closed. She should be shocked that she actually said his name, but they are way past that now.

"Sam." He echoes, not pulling back. his hand not moving an inch.

"I can't." She breathes, almost choking on her words.

"I know." He answers and she knows that more than anyone else, he understands.

"He wanted me to happy." She says just a little louder, finally choking on the words.

"Are you?" He asks, knowing that she isn't. Knowing her better than she knows herself.

"No…I thought….I lied…"She admits as her eyes flutter open and the look in his eyes is more than her undoing.

"What do you want Sam? Not major Carter or Doctor Carter. Sam Carter." He states in a tone that she knows means he isn't asking the obvious question.

"I want to be happy… I told him I was happy…I lied…"She says, but it's only part of the truth and she knows that he knows it.

"What do you want Sam?" He prompts and this time she doesn't look away.

"You…us…this…I am just….I am scared of screwing everything up…"She says, finally admitting what she's been thinking all along. She's almost waiting for him to say that she won't screw everything up. But this is way too important for hollow promises that won't ever mean a thing.

"I can't promise you that. I can't promise much. But I want you to be happy." He says slowly, the smallest of smiles curving across his lips.

She smiles, despite herself and for her that's enough. She knows he's a man of few words and she's learnt to pick up on the small things. The things he doesn't say. Won't ever say. Can't say.

He closes the gap between them, a boyish grin on his face. The exact same one that got her to where she is now. Sitting on his dock, with her frazzled emotions and his borrowed strength.

"I think this is the part where I kiss you." He whispers almost conspicuously and she almost rolls her eyes. But now she's grinning anyway.

"You watch too many movies." She whispers as he leans in and his mouth slants against hers.

What they have isn't perfect. She's not sure it even work and she's pretty sure she's just given up the career she's worked so hard to achieve. But then again they are used to getting out of even the trickiest situations. Him of all people knows that better than her. She knows it won't be easy. But that's not what she wants. She wants happiness. True happiness. Happiness that will make her not easy normal life just a little easier to deal with, especially when it all becomes a little too much.


End file.
